Saturday, June 20, 2009 | 10:43 pm
Eh, nothing much to say. Just feel like writing something here. But now that I'm here, I don't know what to write. Nvm, just write some recap stuff and some jokes that were shared among us.
Yq's Jokes:
1)There is a river filled with penis-eating crocodiles. There are 2 men trying to cross it and they obviously want to go through the river with their genitals intact. However, they are naked(dunno why)and they only have 1 leaf to cover and protect their organ. Erm, the leaf could be used as protection cause it covers the penis so the crocodiles can't see it so they won't bite it. Yeah, just assume that. And there's a log to cross across the river with. So, how does both guys get across the river?
Ans:The guy in front shall use the leaf to cover his penis, while the guy at the back shall protect his by sticking it into the front guy's ass.
2)Same river, but now no bridge. 3 pigs want to cross it but they have to swim to cross it. First pig swam across and got 1 ball bitten off. 2nd pig got 2 of its balls bitten off. 3rd pig swam across but no crocodiles bit him. Why?
Ans:The 3rd pig swam back-stroke.
3)How do you put a giraffe into a fridge? You open the fridge and put the giraffe in it. How do you then put an elephant into a fridge? You open the fridge, take out the giraffe, then put in the elephant. Now, at this time, 1 indian, 1 chinese and 1 malay jumped down from a building and prayed to their respective gods to save them. Who died?
Ans:The indian died. Technically there's 2 answers. Answer 1 is because before the indian could finish reciting his god's name in full, he hit the floor and died.(Indian gods' names are long!) Answer 2 is related to the above animals. Indians worship elephants. But the elephant is still stuck in the fridge. Can't save the indian =(
Don't know why, but most jokes are funny only when they are offensive. Feels kinda bad, being happy at another's expense.
Quotes:
'Finally, The Rock has come back to Toron...to Toronnnnn...to run his mouth on alllllll your candy asses!'
'What, is it the first time you heard someone mention your city and the fans go-Huuuuuraayyy, he said Toronto, eeeee-yayyyyy. That's where we live, we live in Toronto yay, shut up!'
'The Rock wanted to come to Toronto cause this is where it all started. Cause it's in Toronto where the people...turned...on their people's champion.'
'67,000 strong, 67,000...of you mother cannukers booing The Rock out of the building!'
'Toronto, that is the jabroni beating, flaaaaaat out, pie eating, trail brazing, eyebrow raising, stronger than a bear, faster than a buck, the biggest thing to hit Canada cause the Maple Leaf SUCK!'
'You know what Toronto? Know your role, and shut your mouth, take all your boos and stick them straight up to your maple syrup sucking candy asses.' - The Rock
'People who wear a mask...is either very ugly...incredibly stupid, or...he's the Batman!'
'Look at me, I'm Baptista! I shoot laser guns like a 6 year old! Pew pew pew pew!'
'Ha, I got your subway sandwich Jerry! I win, you lose! Hmmmh, yummy! Delicious!'
'I'm going to open...a can...of the ass-whip, so big! And I would spray it all over your big fat head, and that's the bottom lines!
'And Vladimir Kozlov, he looks like Sam the Eagle! Look!'
'That's easy Fiz! You...are the jackass!'
'And am I not allowed to take part in the 25 divas battle royale? Because of my genitals? That's sexual...discrimination!'
'Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourself. For what I'm about to unleash upon you...is something known as the Mankini. Hit my music.'
'My name is Santina! I'm Santino Marella's twin sister from Italy! Yay!' - Santino/Santina Marella
'John Cena has captured the hearts of many...9 year old kids. They adore him like they love the Jonas Brothers...and Spongebob Squarepants!'
'He may not be Tim Allen, but it's tool time!'
'Cena is over-rated, kinda like Kobe Bryant.'
'While Lebron James is like The Miz, AWESOME!'
'Here's a new merchadising idea:John Cena, two-ply!' - The Miz
'What happened to Shawn Michaels, wasn't my fault. It was your fault. And it was your fault, and it's your fault, your fault, yours, it's all your faults.'
'6 months ago, I told you that good thing happen to good people, and I'm a good person. Oh yeahhhh.'
'And worst of all, all of you hypocrites are still the same, ignorant, insipid, bulbous manatees that you all have always been.'
'I am a honest man, and 99% of you in this arena are liars and cheaters, while 99.9% of you have failed in whatever you have set yourself in doing.'
'When I reached home, my son would be running around in the living room saying the champ is here, dad, the champ is here. And when I drove and dropped him off at school, he would say you can't see me dad.'
'ASK HIM!' - Chris Jericho
'I would like to share my foot-long(after a subway commercial)with Mickie James.' - Jerry Lawler
Ahhhh. That's all for now. Should be a long post, this. Ciao.
'Why does a WWE superstar with so much talent, continue to be such a gutless, spineless, disrespectful grand wizard, of the baby oil boys club.' - John Cena